Emotional attachment is the sense of emotional bond and affection people establish toward others or material possessions. It is a natural phenomenon that is meant to keep us feeling secure and grounded. Being attached emotionally to others provides us with sense of security and belonging. However, when we are attached to the wrong people or the objects that are unattainable, we suffer tremendously. The suffering lasts as long as these unhealthy attachments persist in our lives, and as long as we fail to obtain what we desire. Unhealthy attachments are burdens that no one would willingly choose to experience. They are similar to being imprisoned, but in a psychological prison. You lack the free will to end, such as toxic relationships, because your established emotional bonds enforce you to remain loyal to these types of relationships. However, strengthening the ability to release the unhealthy attachments is vital for our mental health and overall quality of life. Additionally, knowing the driving force from which emotional attachment steams will empower us to overcome it.
Understanding the Roots of Emotional Attachment
Emotional Attachment mainly steams from past traumas, fear of abandonment, loneliness, and lack of self-worth. Due to these emotional issues, people experience attachment disorders. They unconsciously attempt to fill the void of the past unmet emotional needs, or to heal their past wounds. However, they often fail because the emotional issues are stored deep in the body, becoming unconscious. If you make so many attempts to end unhealthy attachment and have always failed, it is because of these underlying emotional issues.
People who are attached to toxic relationships or being co-independent believe that their past wounds or past traumas are healed since they no longer feel the pain. Nevertheless, the pain is only anesthetized because of the attachments which play as coping mechanisms to soothe it.
Past traumas, fear of abandonment, loneliness, and lack of self-worth are unresolved stored emotions. They are being suppressed and not expressed. They are in standby time until they have a chance to express themselves. Otherwise, they will be stored in the body, affecting one’s life indefinitely.
Releasing Emotional Attachment
Healing from toxic attachment requires addressing both emotional attachment and emotional issues. Emotional attachment refers to the invested emotions during toxic relationships or in the material possessions, and these invested emotions are more recent comparing to the deeper, unconscious emotional issues. Here are some steps to overcoming emotional attachments:
First Step: Identify Your Emotional Issues
Start identifying which emotional issues you suffer from. Read about the symptoms of each and compare them with the symptoms you might have. For example:
- Past trauma symptoms: being anxious, having panic attacks, being easily startled, having difficulty concentrating, and being easily irritated.
- Fear of abandonment symptoms: being anxious about loneliness, having difficulty trusting people, being hypersensitive to criticism, having low self-esteem.
- Loneliness symptoms: lacking motivation, having pains, having sleep problems, feeling sick, having headaches, and feeling tired.
- Lack of self-worth symptoms: having negative self-talk, often criticizing yourself, focusing always on negatives, avoiding challenges, having difficulty making friends, and having difficulty accepting compliments.
Second Step: Release the Emotional Baggage
After identifying which emotional issue you struggle with, begin releasing the emotional baggage associated with it. For example, suppose you find some of lack of self-worth symptoms match your own, then you should address each symptom individually. Negative self-talk, for example, is a single symptom of lack of self-worth. Work on till you overcome it, and then move to next symptom. The way to address your negative self-talk, or any other symptoms, is by using the word “SO”.
While working on releasing negative self-talk, you will most likely encounter popping up negative thoughts and emotions to hinder your progress. These thoughts and emotions are attached to each other; you have to pay attention to what you are feeling and what you are thinking, and always use the “So” word as a response to your emotions and thoughts. This approach helps to diminish their power over you.
For example:
Negative Thought: “It’s hard for me to overcome my negative thoughts.” Your response: “So”
Negative Thought: “I have tried countless times to change my negative self-take, but I have always failed.” Your response: “So”
Negative Thought: “I’m not good enough to succeed in this.” Your Response: “So.”
Negative Thought: “I’ll never be able to change; this is just who I am.” Your Response: “So.”
Negative Thought: “I’m afraid of failing again.” Your Response: “So.”
Negative Thought: “I’m too anxious to handle this situation.” Your Response: “So.”
By consistently using “So” as a response, you allow the negative thoughts and emotions express themselves without feeding them to gain the power over you. Repeating this multiple times will gradually help releasing the emotional baggage.
Final Step: Release Emotional Attachment
After addressing and releasing your underlying emotional issues, the next step is to release your emotional attachment. The approach you should use in this process is to conger every emotion related to the person or the object you are attached to. You have to avoid engaging with your emotions once they arise. Otherwise, you will empower them. Instead use the word “So” as a response to your emotions. This simple response helps to detach from the emotions, preventing them from taking control over you.
Conclusion
Overcoming emotional attachment is essential for leading a healthy and fulfilling life. By understanding the roots of your attachments, and identifying and addressing emotional issues, you can break free from the psychological prison of unhealthy attachments. Remember that healing is a process that takes time, patience, and self-compassion. With determination, you can release unhealthy attachments and move toward a life of emotional freedom and inner peace.
